I'm in week 8 of the program, and I'm feeling fairly good about my progress so far. I've lost 15.4 lbs since my weigh-in on 7/1. I'm still in the 300 zone, but I'm getting closer to that first number (once again) being a "2".
I still look at pictures and see a very fat woman. It's extremely discouraging. I went on a boat outing this week with a few co-workers and was constantly paranoid about where I was situated on the boat so that I wasn't causing things to be weighed down in the wrong spot or to make the distribution uneven compared to where others were sitting. To other people, this sounds extremely silly, but these are the things that I worry about. We had a team photo taken of our group - that I got in my e-mail this morning - and I just look at it and see myself sticking out like a sore thumb compared to the others in the picture. And it always goes back to the same thing...
...how did I ever let myself get this bad?
When I look in the mirror every morning, I obviously can see that I'm overweight. But when I put it in perspective when I'm situated near people who are "normal-sized" - that "scale" makes me realize truly how large I've become.
I want to look at that picture and get mad. Almost like I need to get revenge on myself for getting to this point. Use that photo as the motivation to NO LONGER have pictures make me this sad. But I can't get out of Bluesville at the moment.
